Friday, July 18, 2014

Really fun upcoming shows in Cincinnati

I've got some really fun shows coming up in Cincinnati. Your life will change dramatically if you come out to one and if you attend four, the fifth is free (not remotely true).

July 21st- Mayday, Northside w/ Geoff Tate: Geoff Tate is one of my favorite comics and another who started in the Cincinnati scene. He's been on Comedy Central and the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson and is ridiculously funny. This show is FREE and is going to be amazing. Mayday, 8pm.

July 29- Backstage, Covington

July 31-Aug. 3- Go Bananas Comedy Club, Cincinnati- This is the club I started at and it's the first time I'll be working there since moving back from New York City. 8pm every night and 10:30 shows as well on Friday and Saturday. These shows will all be really fun and if you want discounted tickets, just let me know!

No one knows what to say to new parents

No one knows what to say to new parents

Filmed at Stand Up NY in New York City.

Five unlikely video game heroes

Most video game heroes today make sense. Soldiers, righteous gunslingers, commoners with penchants for killing zombies, all the basic suspects. Video game heroes from the past? They involve animal-abusing plumbers, heroes that feature a dislike of crying as a defining characteristic, and a kid with a pile of weapons.

For CBS Digital, here's the backstory on five unlikely video game heroes.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

ManCave Daily guide to the NBA Playoffs

The NBA playoffs are awesome. The best basketball in the world combined with some of the biggest floppers in sports history (looking at you, LeBron) and some of the best individual performances, the NBA playoffs are definitely a worthwhile investment of your time. What do you need to know? Great question. Thankfully, I already broke it down for CBS' ManCave Daily.


Why is there a picture of an attractive woman dressed like a ref? Because it is a men's website, after all. And because it's better than a picture of one of the officials I talked about.

The refs are the worst:
What do you do when you have the greatest athletes in a particular sport gathered on one court? You hire officials for that game the same ways malls hire Santas. Find some old guy who doesn’t have anything else going on and put him in charge of everything. Every old man that doesn’t enjoy fishing or golf is currently an NBA referee. When it comes to officiating NBA games, things like consistency and accuracy are inconsequential compared to overdramatic foul signals and a Napoleonic complex.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Worst Dick (Clark) Jokes on Twitter

I was very sad to hear about the passing of Dick Clark. Admittedly, I was confused when my wife broke the news, because I thought he wasn't a real person. Then I figured out I was thinking about Dick Tracy, famous detective. That being said, it took all of about five minutes before EVERYONE ON TWITTER assumed they were a comedian and started making awful jokes.

"Guess the ball dropped on Dick Clark" BA-ZING!

"I wonder if Dick Clark will be a hologram on this year's New Year's Eve show!" WOWZA!

"I guess the Mayans were right, the world IS ending in 2012!" Bore-town.

I compiled the worst Dick Clark jokes on Twitter, so you can catch them HERE.

Friday, April 13, 2012

National Puppy Day

I wrote about National Puppy Day and the great dogs in history for CBS's ManCave Daily. I'll give you my favorite, if you click the link to go read about the rest.

Sgt. Stubby
A war dog from World War I, Stubby was the dog version of G.I. Joe. He was a badass in every sense of the word. He was in 17 battles, single-handedly captured a German spy, warned his unit of poison gas attacks (thanks to his acute sense of smell after getting gassed) and incoming shell. He became the only dog in U.S. military history to earn the rank of Sergeant in battle. After the war, he met several Presidents and was Georgetown’s mascot. After passing away, he was honored with a brick at the World War I memorial and his remains were sent to the Smithsonian. 
This dog had bigger stones than Clifford the Big Red Dog and was cooler than 95 percent of Americans. I’m sure he caused many of America’s young dames to consider moving to a state with no bestiality laws. God even allows pets (cats need not apply) into heaven just because He wanted to hang out with Stubby.


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

How Not to Propose

In honor of National Proposal Day, I was asked to write about how I proposed for my wife. You don't get asked if you did it in a classy or smart fashion. Mine involved throwing the ring, an engagement knife and a two-word proposal that may be the most embarrassing thing I've ever done in my life.

Read more about my awful proposal here.